As ever, this alternative commentary may cause certain people to be offended and contains industrial language and themes. Enjoy this unique take on Manchester United’s historic win over Barcelona!
Category: News
United to face Real Betis in Europa League last 16
Manchester United’s heroics against Barcelona have been rewarded with a last-sixteen tie against Real Betis. The ties will take place on the 9th and 16th of March. The fixture against Southampton on…
Hannibal becomes the main man at Birmingham
After a difficult start to life at Birmingham, Hannibal has grown in stature and influence at Birmingham City FC. That progress was rewarded with his first goal, an assist, and a man-of-the-match…
Munich Air Disaster 6th February 1958
Sixty-five years on today, the Munich Air Disaster decimated the famous Busby Babes. Returning to Manchester victorious after knocking out Red Star Belgrade, the flight stopped to refuel in Munich. After two…
Mason Greenwood has all charges against him dropped
Greater Manchester Police today announced that criminal proceedings against Mason Greenwood have been stopped. Greenwood had been charged with attempted rape, engaging in coercive behaviour, and assault with all allegations relating to…
Varane announces his retirement from international football
Representing our great country for a decade has been one of the greatest honors of my life. Each time I wore this special blue jersey, I felt immense pride. The duty to…
Marcel Sabitzer joins on loan from Bayern. What to expect.
Erik ten Hag and Manchester United reacted quickly to the news of Christian Eriksen’s serious ankle injury by securing the signing of Marcel Sabitzer, 28, on loan from Bayern Munich. Apparently, there…
United suffer Christian Eriksen blow
Christian Eriksen is expected to be out for an extended amount of time thanks to a reckless challenge by Reading striker Andy Carroll. Carroll was later sent off, but the initial foul…
United at home to West Ham in FA Cup 5th Round
Manchester United have drawn West Ham United in the fifth round of the FA Cup. It will see David Moye’s return to Old Trafford with his struggling West Ham side. The game…
Ten Hag: “I’m not Harry Potter!” Press Conference.
Press conference parts one and two ahead of the Reading FA Cup game. Erik ten Hag answered press questions on injuries, Rashford, Sancho, Harry Maguire and more.
Amad Diallo wins young player and fans player of the month awards
Amad’s continued great form at Sunderland was recognised with him winning EFL young player of the month and PFA Fans’ player of the month. View this post on Instagram A post shared…
It is time to free Martial.
Anthony Martial will never fulfil his potential. Signed for £36 million in 2015 from Monaco, his contract had performance clauses that would pay 7.2 million each. The extra fees depended on him…
Erik ten Hag Notts Forest Press Conference [Both Parts]
0:00 How have the team reacted to Sunday and how important would making a first final be to the team’s progress? 0:33 Will any players be back? Jadon Sancho? 1:01 How important…
Arsenal Press Conference [video]
Two part press conference that took part the night of the Crystal Palace game but was embargoed until later.
Billionaire Sir Jim Ratcliff wants to buy boyhood club Man Utd
A spokesman for the petrochemicals billionaire told The Times: “We have formally put ourselves into the process.”
Erik ten Hag Crystal Palace Press Conference [video]
Weghorst is in contention to start. Martial was not 100% against city and was taken off to guard against further injury. Erik says celebrating wins is essential but after 24hours it’s about…
Casemiro only at United for the money
Footage of the great man’s celebration with the fans.
Wout gets the 27 shirt
Wout Weghorst will wear the number 27 shirt at United.
United conquer Manchester
Manchester United won the derby last weekend, and Daniel Harris joins Off The Ball to discuss that, the brilliance of Erik Ten Hag and the floundering of Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City.